Do you ever start the week looking forward to the weekend and when the weekend arrive you detest it because you know that it will be Monday again ?
And this will go on forever until you are 87.
And then you die.
Showing posts with label scary shit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scary shit. Show all posts
Nov 14, 2008
Richard Simmons from Hell
I’ve taken yoga-pilates classes few months back with an ex-colleague of mine, back in the days when I was trying to keep my weight down before the wedding.
And although it lasted only 3 months, the experience was traumatizing enough to be burned into the back of my skull - creeping back recurrently every time I look at an exercise video.
My instructor was a short skinny lady in her late 40s who wore a shit-load of eye make-up with a palette of colours that can compete with the costume of an 80s Indian rap singer.
She looked relatively harmless initially – the impression only lasted for 5 seconds
Afterwhich, she'll start the class by yelling at the top of her lungs and screaming things like
‘Oh look at at all the bak-wahhsss..!!!! Get rid of the bak-wahhs in your buutt-ockk !! COME ON COME ON ! *insert high-pitched unintelligible word here*' ... whilst slapping the thighs of her unsuspecting students
While the rest of us huffed and puffed like a drugged-out Richard Simmons, she’ll move around like a stealth ninja, circling us like a hungry vulture looking for her next carbo-infested oversized victims who just couldn't raise their hands or legs high enough.
Needless to say, after my last and final lesson, I never came back. Not even to collect my exercise ball which was stashed away in the centre’s storage room.
I chose instead to go for random, safer activities that promotes a healthier heart and even lesser chances of getting a verbally-inflicted psychological-injury.
She caught me by surprise though, a month after that by calling me up for chat and asking how I was.
She knew I was getting married then and was concerned that I wouldn’t be getting enough exercise when I were to get pregnant in future.
Basically, I lied through my teeth when I promised her I will call if I needed to go for a pre-natal Lamaze class.
Lying, because I don’t want my baby to come shooting out of my womb like a bullet train through one lesson with this one hell of a scary sporty spice.
And although it lasted only 3 months, the experience was traumatizing enough to be burned into the back of my skull - creeping back recurrently every time I look at an exercise video.
My instructor was a short skinny lady in her late 40s who wore a shit-load of eye make-up with a palette of colours that can compete with the costume of an 80s Indian rap singer.
She looked relatively harmless initially – the impression only lasted for 5 seconds
Afterwhich, she'll start the class by yelling at the top of her lungs and screaming things like
‘Oh look at at all the bak-wahhsss..!!!! Get rid of the bak-wahhs in your buutt-ockk !! COME ON COME ON ! *insert high-pitched unintelligible word here*' ... whilst slapping the thighs of her unsuspecting students
While the rest of us huffed and puffed like a drugged-out Richard Simmons, she’ll move around like a stealth ninja, circling us like a hungry vulture looking for her next carbo-infested oversized victims who just couldn't raise their hands or legs high enough.
Needless to say, after my last and final lesson, I never came back. Not even to collect my exercise ball which was stashed away in the centre’s storage room.
I chose instead to go for random, safer activities that promotes a healthier heart and even lesser chances of getting a verbally-inflicted psychological-injury.
She caught me by surprise though, a month after that by calling me up for chat and asking how I was.
She knew I was getting married then and was concerned that I wouldn’t be getting enough exercise when I were to get pregnant in future.
Basically, I lied through my teeth when I promised her I will call if I needed to go for a pre-natal Lamaze class.
Lying, because I don’t want my baby to come shooting out of my womb like a bullet train through one lesson with this one hell of a scary sporty spice.
Nov 7, 2008
Get ready to be scared shitless.
http://www.hotel626.com/
..cos i did.
p/s : to get in before 6pm, simply change the time setting on your computer. (<---its good to know that my dip in computer nerd-o-logy finally paid off)
..cos i did.
p/s : to get in before 6pm, simply change the time setting on your computer. (<---its good to know that my dip in computer nerd-o-logy finally paid off)
Apr 16, 2004
Hey You Human Punchbag
Weird shit of a day. Let the Psycho III theme song loop in the background cos we just had a run-in with the schizo from hell.
There was melodrama when ayu, nurul, maya and me were sitting around at starbucks today. A man in his mid-40s simply went berserk and started screaming to the people at the table next to us (for no apparent reasons by the way). The highlight of the day happened when he went uber-violent & started throwing his glass bottle at them in a fit. Glass pieces scattered and random vulgarities were spat incessantly. Screamed again. Threw a chair.
Take note that they do not know each other. The victims were just stduents and prolly have not even met Joe Bizarro before in their whole damn life prior to this unfortunate incident. Just an unlucky random picked out from the masses of other slightly-luckier randoms
5 mins later bouncers suddenly appeared from all sides for some pseudo-act of saving justice (its like superman meets california fitness personal trainers kinda thang) and thats when the man started to walk away.
But for the grand finale, he did manage to throw in a 'FUCK YOU AH' and an incoherent 'CIBAI' for some good measure.
It was bloddy scary man. Already, there was a death metal band playing in my head and everyone looked ready to flee. and when i say everyone, i meant especially ME.
But of course, there was that AVOID-EYE-CONTACT-AT-ALL-COST-OR-HE-MIGHT-ATTACK-YOU-NEXT unspoken thing going on..so we just stayed put.
Craziness doesnt even begin to describe it. Someone needs to shop for some brand new strait jackets.
And yet, heh, we even managed a lame attempt to joke about it on the way back home.
fiz: ok kalau orang tu datang lagi, kiter buat posing cam charlie's angel
maya : k. aku buat cam gini
*enacted something that vaguely resembles a lucy-liu meets bruce lee meets high-5(?!) kungfu pose*
nurul : abih ayu ngan yan ?? ( referring to the other 2 friends behind us)
*silence*
fiz: dorang background props.
Weird shit of a day. Let the Psycho III theme song loop in the background cos we just had a run-in with the schizo from hell.
There was melodrama when ayu, nurul, maya and me were sitting around at starbucks today. A man in his mid-40s simply went berserk and started screaming to the people at the table next to us (for no apparent reasons by the way). The highlight of the day happened when he went uber-violent & started throwing his glass bottle at them in a fit. Glass pieces scattered and random vulgarities were spat incessantly. Screamed again. Threw a chair.
Take note that they do not know each other. The victims were just stduents and prolly have not even met Joe Bizarro before in their whole damn life prior to this unfortunate incident. Just an unlucky random picked out from the masses of other slightly-luckier randoms
5 mins later bouncers suddenly appeared from all sides for some pseudo-act of saving justice (its like superman meets california fitness personal trainers kinda thang) and thats when the man started to walk away.
But for the grand finale, he did manage to throw in a 'FUCK YOU AH' and an incoherent 'CIBAI' for some good measure.
It was bloddy scary man. Already, there was a death metal band playing in my head and everyone looked ready to flee. and when i say everyone, i meant especially ME.
But of course, there was that AVOID-EYE-CONTACT-AT-ALL-COST-OR-HE-MIGHT-ATTACK-YOU-NEXT unspoken thing going on..so we just stayed put.
Craziness doesnt even begin to describe it. Someone needs to shop for some brand new strait jackets.
And yet, heh, we even managed a lame attempt to joke about it on the way back home.
fiz: ok kalau orang tu datang lagi, kiter buat posing cam charlie's angel
maya : k. aku buat cam gini
*enacted something that vaguely resembles a lucy-liu meets bruce lee meets high-5(?!) kungfu pose*
nurul : abih ayu ngan yan ?? ( referring to the other 2 friends behind us)
*silence*
fiz: dorang background props.
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